2. How does Faith relate to the world in which we live?
Faith is a subject I hate to talk about. There are points in my life where I feel like others don't have enough faith, and there are points where I hate my own lack of faith, and sometimes, I hate having faith.
Edit: Looking back at this post at the end, some parts make little to no sense. Ignore these anomalies and continue life at your own pace.
When my parents decided to move and give up their life to serve others, I had no doubts. I had complete faith in them, and had faith in their ideals. They lived such a great life, a great job, a house in a beautiful neighborhood, two cars, two kids. They were living the American Dream. When they gave it all up, I completely understood; they had faith in their religion, and their faith had brought them this far, what was to stop them from going further?
And still people question me why my parents would do such a thing.
To be honest, I believe the answer is simple. Faith, to them, was a complete and total trust in a higher power. They believed that their life as a Christian was in God’s control, that nothing happened outside of His will. And in realizing that, they understood that they should do whatever He asks of them. No questions asked.
Christians to this day still argue several things, some of which simply worthless to me. One of which is: “Why does God let bad things happen?” To me, the answer is apparent. While some people try to illogically argue that letting us human beings is both a part of God’s will as His will is to let us follow our own will, I find the answer is, simply put: Because He’s God. A being that can be defined as “God” is one of unlimited power, presence, and knowledge. If one believes that they are of His creation, how can they doubt that He does anything that is “wrong”. The Christian God defines what is right and wrong.; anything that goes against Him is wrong We see that a “God” sending people to Hell, causing natural disasters, letting good people die, etc. is a God who is somehow at fault. Yet how can He be at fault if his actions define what righteous, noble is, and right?
Things that question God’s power are questions best answered with faith. Simple faith is how I believe the questions that other Christians face. There is a power around, a quiet one, but one that speaks volumes when practically applied.
There are still those times, however, that I feel like my faith is sufficient. As hard as it was to come to my beliefs, and how strongly I argued until I had set my beliefs, I still feel like there could be something I missed, some little factor that I didn’t catch, that will make my whole life a waste. I wonder, sometimes, if God doesn’t exist, if morals, karma, rules didn’t mean anything, then is my life worthless? Does anything I do for other people simply waste time? Scientifically, a few close friends should be all that I worry about, the rest of the world is inconsequential to me. Legacies, children, anything to preserve myself matters. These are the weird things I think about, although I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in thinking them.
And finally, I hate talking about faith, because it makes me seem weak. My stance on explanations, on my beliefs themselves rely upon my ability to intellectually come to a conclusion. Yet faith changes everything. Once one has faith, one is expected to believe everything that God says completely. Although there are some things that I can still figure intellectually (such as not taking everything a preacher says at face value, but instead trusting the Bible) both my strong views about faith, yet my worries about my own faith come in the way. Faith is something that I desperately want to have completely, but also believe that I would regret at the end of my life. Faith is something that I can’t stand in others, yet I don’t know if it exists in me. I know this whole post makes me quite the hypocrite, but sometimes, I don’t even know if that matters.
2 comments:
Tim,
I agree with you on the difficulties of faith. In fact, this sounds like something I would have written not too long ago. Despite what you may think of me, I am an extremely rational, logical person. I have a very hard time taking the final step of faith and believing in something I cannot see. I am not the type of person or believer that says "God spoke to me" because in my experience I have never heard God literally speak to me, and I sometimes doubt that the people who say he did, actually did. Here is an interesting quote by Andrew Murray I have been pondering lately, "Prayer doesn't change things, but it changes me, which in turn changes things." What do you think about that? Another point I'd like to make in response to your post is that in my experience there are two ultimate belief systems someone can have. Either a person believes that there is a God, whether it be the Christian God or other god, or that there isn't. For me the latter suggests that existence is utterly pointless, again suggesting to me the absurdity of existence. I cannot, and will not accept the latter, and if that means taking a step of faith I think that is easier for me to accept than to accept life as being absurd.
Tim I love seeing the way you think. This post is so layered and complex yet brings the reader into your world. Keep sharing. I have to say though; I love faith... when all is said and done and everything is stripped away in my life; all that is left is my faith. That is enough. Mrs.Mc.
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